Humour Articles

Noting the way violent and irrational Muslims have dominated the news, while the Muslim masses and, most inexcusably, Muslim clerics have in general remained reticent about the scandalously murderous terrorist talk and the mayhem the lunatics advocate, we decided there must be, among the world’s billion or so Muslims, any number of normal, peace-loving and, on a wild bet, perhaps even modern-minded, acolytes. So we began our tireless search to see if we might find such a rare...

Islamic militants who have taken over in Mogadishu and dropped the dark veil of medievalism over the minds of the citizenry have branded Coca-Cola as un-Islamic. A hard-line sheik has declared that Westerners are enemies of Islam and their products should not be consumed. The man has followers. One, who owns a tea shop, said, "Out of ignorance, I was selling and drinking Coca-Cola, but now I hate it so much.' Pointing to various rules regarding beverages that grace t...

Rest easy, America, even when you contemplate the abbreviated flight of North Korea’s errant but someday, they hope, long-range Taepodong 2 missile – a name that, should the nation ever decide to enter the capitalist hustings, doesn’t sound like a very promising appellation for a new car. In the wake of the miscalculated launch of seven missiles by North Korea, including a Taepodong 2, President Bush told reporter Larry Wing in an exclusive interview, “We’ve got a missile ...

Remember nuclear blackmail? Apparently, North Korea and Iran have refined the practice into outright panhandling. Let’s indulge, with a not entirely charitable examination, this new and nettlesome version of “Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?” Standing on the most conspicuous street corners the two beggarly brats can manage in our minds, they proffer their illicit cups in quest of alms, while they wiggle their nascent nuclear capabilities at our noses. North Korea plays Wh...

As if the Muslim religion didn’t have enough problems in the often less than mutually tolerant text of the Koran, now its radical exponents have run afoul of Kant’s ever-present Categorical Imperative. How? As Muslim murders Muslim, the warring Sunnis and Shiites each maintain that their religion lends support to their bloody sectarianism. To the extent that it does, it runs counter to K’s Categorical Imperative, which, as every schoolchild in America is taught by the a...

It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you still. Then, wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine. But now it’s not so simple. With television shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Jones’s Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde, we’re getting all sorts of ...

Now that I’m really settled down for bad or good, I can’t help but reflect on my lengthy past as a happy-go-lucky single. How can I forget the many bizarre, crazy, and benighted times I’ve misled myself into a man’s twin loving arms, and how very much I miss loving every minute of it? How? Why, I squirm as if caught in a velvet trap…well, I could, but my husband is standing right behind me and might ask me what I’m sitting on. Yes, it’s been nothing but high misadventur...

Grandma made a major decision the other day. She had been ponderin and ponderin how to deal with her three little darlins in the best way possible. She finally decided since there were three of them, maybe there should be three of her. Yep, Grandma decided she’d split her personality into three personalities and become three in one. Who knows? Even that Miss Ophrie might come a callin to her door and a wantin to meet them three in one. So Grandma had to decide which three ...

Now that I’m settled, I must reflect on my past as a happy-go-lucky single. How can I forget the many times I’ve misled myself into a man’s loving arms, and how much I loved every minute of it? Why, I squirm as if caught in a velvet trap…well, I could, but my second husband is standing right behind me and might ask me what I’m sitting on. I loved my first husband, a wonderfully funny Jew whose parents had fled the Holocaust as kids. After a dozen roller-coaster relation...

An admittedly small upstart group of Palestinians, comparing the quality of their governance with the orderly procedures in Israel, have decided the best thing that can happen to them is to give up on their own government. As a result, they are asking Israel to keep the members of the Hamas government the Israelis arrested in response to the kidnapping of an Israeli soldier by militants. Even more surprisingly, they are advocating a one-state solution, with the Gaza Str...